Why Are the Beautiful Ones Always Crazy?

That’s a line I’m borrowing (fair use!) from an episode of the Simpsons (Chief Wiggum uses the line referring to Marge in an episode I don’t otherwise remember), but it sure seems appropriate for Kris Benson‘s former wife Anna Benson, a former Penthouse Pet who was arrested and charged today for numerous crimes directed towards the retired ballplayer.

The allegations against Anna are pretty salacious — she has been charged with two counts of aggravated assault and battery with a gun, possession of a firearm in a felony and criminal trespass in connection with an episode in which she showed up at Kris’ Smyrna, Georgia home, which Anna has been under a court order to vacate, and confronted him, all the while armed with a handgun, a hatchet, a knife, an expandable baton and a taser and wearing a bulletproof vest and an ammo belt.  A bag of syringes was also found inside the house, although it’s not yet clear if they belonged to Anna rather than Kris.

Needless to say, I’m reminded of the diaper-wearing astronaut who went after her wanna-be-boyfriend’s real paramour in 2007 and was charged with attempted kidnapping.

According to the police report, Anna entered the home through the garage and confronted Kris in the bedroom, first striking a computer monitor with the expandable baton and then threatening Kris with the gun and demanding $30,000.  Needless to say, Anna is now being held without bond, probably as the authorities try to make a determination regarding her sanity and the likelihood that she’s a future threat to others.

This espn article has a few more juicy tidbits, including the fact that Kris escaped by offering to get lighter to light Anna’s cigarette and sneaking out when she didn’t follow him downstairs.  Here’s Anna’s wikipedia article, which is full of other juicy tidbits, including that she is a self-described “harlot” who left home at 16 and met Kris years later while working at a New Orleans strip club.  Also, needless to say, the now former couple broke up several times before it stuck, including conceiving another child after the first divorce petition was filed — you have to figure the sex was crazy-hot.

Here are some pictures of what Anna looked like when she was young and looking greatHere is the recent mugshot.  If you had any doubts about Anna’s state of mind, note the expression she gives for the mugshot — her face is broken out like she’s been binging drugs (or at least hasn’t slept properly for days), and she’s being charged with some pretty serious felonies — even so, she’s still vamping for the camera.  Somehow, I don’t think a suburban Georgia court is going to treat her kindly, even if she is a local girl.

I probably shouldn’t write articles like this — there’s nothing noble about reveling in other people’s pain and craziness — it’s just that it’s so easy and amusing to do so.  No matter how screwed up our own lives may be, we can at least take comfort in the fact that we are not yet Anna Benson or Lisa Nowak.

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One Comment on “Why Are the Beautiful Ones Always Crazy?”

  1. MackDaddy Says:

    I have a soft-spot for hatchet wielding ex-wives (as long as they’re not my ex-wife), plus she’s a former stripper — you have her #, Burly?

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